Too much Social media is bad for your Marriage…

I sat in front of my laptop at my usual spot in the office. Surfing online is a lot of fun especially when the boss pays you to live there…almost literary. I got to watch tweets roll up, update face book status, and add profiles on Linked In. I had Justin online on Skype chatting with the volume button muted. Freedom is not meant to be overcooked.

I am used to getting friendship requests from strangers, most of them being 1990 and above year-born young men. It is not easy to break the heart of such a young lad so most of the time; I prefer to act as though am not online. Sometimes curiosity bites off my conscience and I go ahead to accept the requests while I await the chat. It usually doesn’t take long and the chat usually lasts no more than twenty minutes, calculated within a budget of ten shillings in a cheap cyber café.

While I chatted with hubby on Skype, my task manager lit up with a chat probing on face book. I ignored it at first, but the endless blinking got the best of me. It was Justin again. This was unusual. It read, ‘Hi’. Justin never began his chats with a ‘hi’.

Quickly, I shifted to Skype. ‘Are you online on Facebook as well?’

‘Nope’ was his inattentive response. Back to Facebook, I let the curious bug bite deeper. ‘Hi!’ I replied. ‘Sorry I had to hack into your husband’s profile because I needed to talk to you.’ My eyes popped out. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. ‘So who are you?’ I pushed. ‘If I wanted you to know that, I would simply have used my own profile *wink*’ another response appeared. I was puzzled.

Skype notifications were getting impatient so I switched to it. Justin was wondering what was going on. ‘Someone with your name and profile is chatting with me’ I quickly explained, He didn’t sound surprised. ‘Oh, I’ll just change my password again’ he brushed it off and went on to ask what was new at work. Apart from this interesting hacker, nothing really!

Face book again ‘Ok, so what exactly do you want?’ I do not do polite notes with strangers, especially those who think they understand my marriage more than I do. ‘I want to save you from a noxious heartbreak!’I couldn’t believe it. He went on. ‘Justin doesn’t love you as much as he claims…He is a charade.’ I didn’t respond. A big part of me knew this guy was just testing my trust, but a wee bit of me wondered what if…What if there was just, something?

Many women who get cheated on also believe it’s not possible for their angels to turn into monsters. I looked back and scrutinised how we had been living. It couldn’t possibly be. We are so close, he has become my hand bag and I his tail!

‘I know you must be hurting now’ another chat message peeped in. I had been too silent and my ‘knight in shining armour must have thought I was wailing in tears and running around like a chicken that just lost its head. He was almost right, only I wasn’t moving. For the first time, I was finger struck (Or what do you call being tongue tied when you are typing?). I had no words to defend my marriage and no foul language for hoax Justin. My heart raced…I could feel it in my mouth. I had no doubt that Justin and I were doing very well. In fact, he was chatting with me on Skype! What time did he ever get to cheat on me?

‘What is on your mind?’ hoax Justin queried. ‘I am just wondering how idle people get sometimes, for you to make all this up. Justin is right here with me reading this as well’ finally, some defence mechanism was underway. This time, Hoax Justin went dead silent, consequently feeding my courage. ‘What, did you think I would just believe some strange sadistic hacker? Get a life you idiot!


I got stronger. Where did you go to again? Come baby, come! This phrase is officially the Ish. ‘Hun’ popped up on. ‘Don’t hun me you dim-witted home wrecker!’ I was flaring, almost tearing my hair away’ ‘I know guys like you! You just enjoy the gratification or break-ups! You Effing…’ I literary clinched my fists.

‘Wait hun, it’s just me, Justin’ what? ‘Sorry, I didn’t think you’d go all gaga about this. It was supposed to be a joke!’ Wait, did I just get played there? It was unbelievable. I just wasted so much emotion on a prank? I was in murder mode. ‘Is that really you, Justin?’ no response. A Skype message popped in again. ‘Yes, hun, that was me. Thank you. You fortified our love and proved once more that this marriage means a lot to you.’ I couldn’t believe it. ‘You there?’ he probed. I was still panting out the rage and aggravation; still garnering my words. With smoke coming out of my ears, I took a deep breath and counted to five. ‘Sweetie?’ he probed. ‘Pray that I don’t catch you,’ was all I promised as I logged off and called it a day.

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