I stepped out of the waiting bay and into the corridors of the ICU/HDU. At that moment, it didn’t matter which side I was on. He was already gone. I saw him with my eyes and he surely looked as dead as can be.
When I pulled away the curtain to see him just an hour earlier, I did not want to think of the worst. Even at that moment, my mind could not fathom that he could have been dead. The farthest I thought was that he was about to die and I had time to exchange the last words with him. Like in the movies, his hand would gently slip away from mine and his soul would ascend to the unknown.
But that would not be the case. When his death came, it caught him by surprise too. He felt his feet go numb and was only lying on the bed as Charles, his nurse went for the doc, that’s all! He couldn’t have known his heart had stopped, and even if he did, there was nothing he could have done in the four minutes he had left to live.
when I saw him, barely five minutes after he had been pronounced dead, my heart stopped for a bit as I took in the sight of my very own kin completely abandoned by his soul. Where had he gone? Was he scared? Was he okay? Would I ever know? What was happening?
I was at my most vulnerable state, confused, sad, scared, and stripped of all my strength.
“Closed casket” I had whispered to mum. I could not imagine anyone else seeing my father looking so defeated in his death. ” Nooooo, he looks much better now,” she tried to console me. “The nurses cleaned him up and he looks like he is peacefully asleep. Go see for yourself!”
So there I stood, on the corridor, alone, wondering how to go back to his room. Mother had said that it was important that I do for my peace, but my mind was still stuck on what I had seen and I could not go past it.
Fear engulfed me and I embraced myself. I had never felt so alone. I looked at the curtains I had pulled back, now only a few feet from me, and could not believe how impaired I felt.
“I can’t” I cried.
“God, I want to, but I can’t!” I felt numb and drained of my own existence. Unless a miracle came through, I was going to slip into the comfort of my denial and leave my body as a living shell.
But did I want to go there? “God please help me.” I whispered desperately. “I can’t do it without you! If you don’t help me then I’m done!”
It did not take a minute. I was not prepared for it either. Even if He would come through and help, I did not think it would feel so real. I suddenly felt a shift as the air around me moved and something that felt like a huge peace blanket came around me. What I felt next was even more amazing. My fear was suddenly no more, and I felt strength fill me. what’s even more amazing is that the strength did not feel like my own. I had help. My help had come to me!
The peace was so filling I instantly felt guilty for feeling so good when my father had just died. For a moment, I wanted to stick my head out of this ‘blanket. so that I would at least mourn him. the peace was comforting and assuring and when I looked at the curtains that led to his room again, I knew I could do it.
I felt a nudge and a small voice followed that said, “Go”. I could do it. and there I walked to make peace with the death of my father.
Jeremiah 33:3, NKJV- Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know God promises to answer our prayers when we call to him. Now, this was not my first prayer to God, and in my faith, he had silently answered numerous other prayers, both mine and others.
About six months prior’s to my father’s death, my husband and I, in our discussions at home accepted to fully and diligently follow Christ. Yes, we worshipped and acknowledged God before, but this felt more like a new beginning of a life that would seek His face in everything we do. We prayed more, and even better we meant it when we spoke to Him.
Though we were not perfect, we tried to live in His righteousness and in that state, I prayed in earnest, because I truly needed him, and he came to my rescue and this marked the beginning of greater things in my life that I will continue to share with you. James 5:16 NLT says The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.
Do you believe God answers prayers? I believe He does and when you call to HIm EARNESTLY, He is sure to answer. Do share your miracle episodes and let’s tell of the wondrous things He has done.