3 Easy Ways to Sustain A Good Reputation

Your reputation, simply put, is your actions and what people say about you. No one is born with one; rather, it develops through your behavior and how you handle relationships with others, over time. A tainted reputation can be fixed. However, it takes time to win back lost trust. Here are three easy ways you can adapt to keep you in good books.

Always keep your word

Strive to be a person who does what they say they will do. Don’t make empty promises and communicate when you feel you may fall short of your word.

Be Authentic

Be genuine in your actions. You don’t want to come off as though your good character is seasonal. To earn any trust, you have to consistently be real.

It’s not always about you

Show others that you are genuinely interested in their lives. This not only makes you pleasant, it also earns you reliability. While at it, wear a smile. You need an approachable look to match good character, right?

While many claim that you should not care what others think, a positive reputation is important in life. It’s sure to open more opportunities you otherwise would never know existed.

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Fanne Mwambi

 

Welcome to the world, baby! Flu is served

Many would expect that as an experienced mother, I would know all there is about babies. Hardly did I get any advice at my baby shower for the very same reason. Trust me, I didn’t ask any questions either. I thought I garrit . What we easily forget is experiences are different with every baby and no one quite experiences everything. My newborn was perfectly healthy. She played and fed well, slept long enough and was generally peaceful. All I looked forward to was her awake-time so I could smother her with kisses and enjoy watching her stretch and cry out for a feed. For a new mom, this is heaven and it was the seventh for me.

The attack of the Bug

I didn’t see it coming, I mean, the kids had the flu but I took extreme caution to keep them isolated. Before I got any close to her, I washed up like a surgeon preparing for theatre, scrubbing my hands and arms. I limited the other girls’ contact with the baby and only allowed them under close supervision. I thought this was enough, but the flu is airborne. I should perhaps have gotten her a cylinder of her own oxygen to breathe because we woke up one morning and she was terribly congested. She struggled through the discomfort it came with and screamed in distress. I could only do so much and I hated myself for not being able to take it away.

Broken but strong

Her tiny eyes followed my voice, helplessly crying for relief. I was broken. And when she cried, my eyes got wet too. “She’s only three weeks old for Pete’s sake!” I begged looking up and letting the waters fall down my face. I needed to let it out. “I’m tired of being strong all the time. I can’t take this!” I took about ten minutes and did this one thing that was almost strange to my body. I cried till I felt light. Man, did that feel good! I was suddenly ready to beat this.

Giving out my Valentine’s this year

He walked in late wearing a goofy smile. That smile said everything I didn’t want to hear. ‘Babe, I know I’m late. But hey, here I am!’ I had a thousand things I could say to him floating in my head but chose to hold my peace. He moved closer. I looked away and maintained my displeasure. Charlie was all over him, tagging at the hem of his pants; desperately wanting his hand on his fur. He ignored the dog and inched even closer to me. I was surprised when he grabbed me in the kind of embrace I would kill to have every day of my life. “I love you so much, hun,” he muttered and my suspicion shot through the roof, faster than a bullet.

From my heart to yours

“Aai! Baba Peshe,” I protested. “Kwani what happened today?” I knew where he had been, but secretly hoped that whatever made him pour his heart out could also scare him into coming home early next time. “Nothing, we just hang out with Eddie and Kepha and talked about a lot of stuff,” something told me he wasn’t going to share the details. “I barely say much, you know, and was thinking if I don’t tell you how much I appreciate you, you may tire and stop being the amazing person you are.” A heart melted. Suddenly, I didn’t want him to stop talking…and he didn’t.

 

Giving my girls my best

“I look around and can’t ignore the fact that you are one special woman. The kind of support you give me, especially when life brings me down is immeasurable. You hold our family together and I’d like you to know that I respect you. You are my gift and I’m nothing without you.” I slipped back into his arms and he smiled. He knew he had me, for sure. The smile plastered on my face hasn’t left since. I am gifted with a husband, who loves and respects me, and he spoke the words, not just with his eyes; he mouthed them. What more could anyone wish for? I can now let my daughters make their daddy their Valentine this year.

 

The Reality of Going back to work

Like many mothers, I have been faced with the challenge of having to plan to leave my child to go back to work. It’s devastating when you need six months of exclusive breast feeding for your child and the last three of the six, like mine, land you in a working environment that takes you well over an hour in traffic to reach, has no allocation or privacy to pump milk and only lets you leave after 4:30pm. I suffered high levels of stress and eventually supplemented Raine’s milk 4 years ago when I one day walked home with a 100ml bottle filled quarter-way. I should perhaps have made a request on the time adjustments, right? Because I never did…

 

The Challenge Ahead

My request was however received with a pinch of salt when I brought it up with my boss last month. My mind has been reeling over leaving work and starting something that will keep me off an 8-5 schedule. This fed-up disease perhaps attacks anyone who has worked well over 10 years and just needs a break. My work isn’t demanding. In fact, aside from usual monthly invoicing and administrative duties, I barely do much else. Sitting at the office doing my own stuff (that I could do at home anyways) while I could be taking care of my little one made me want to run wild. I must ’ave picked a bad time, though because I was dismissed with a ‘Lets-deal-with-that-when-we-get-there’ expression. ‘Sure thing.’ I thought to myself, ‘By then, I will have made up my mind on what direction to follow’

 

First Excuse

2017 was a bad year for all businesses…. well most of them. However, having to pay cash for my baby’s birth at a time so bad, I could have done with support from a stable plan didn’t improve the situation. Lets just say, when flying a small plane, you feel the turbulence more. So while we look forward to a better year, your guess is as good as mine about the decision that lies ahead.

 

 

The Arrival of the Youngest of the Mwambi’s

Knowing what lay ahead should perhaps have scared me, but it didn’t. Oh, I wont lie, I did get terrified at first. We all do up until we get tired of carrying well over 10kilos of baby, placenta, waters and colostrum everywhere we go. When you have all the baby items ticked off the list and the question, “Bado?” starts being directed to you, you somehow switch on the ‘READY’ button and wake up each morning, hoping it’s the last with a large belly.

Labouring for days

Week 40 was closing in and I got really concerned that this baby was determined to bake and brown at term. I hadn’t gone beyond 39 weeks with my previous pregnancies and for some reason I expected my third pregnancy would end up similarly. I had mild pains that came and went, but I pushed on with life as usual.

Break at work

Driving 15km to and from work wasn’t so dramatic except for the few times my right leg would cramp or when Braxton Hicks got so intense I had to lift my weight to ease them. At week 39+2days, I was relieved from work and continued my active shenanigans at my kids’ school; sitting at the office with my mom and sister as their office assistant by duress.

39 weeks, 6 days: Did baby forget its time? I was beginning to doubt that the false labour pains were even real. Pregnancy blogs advised I could wait up to 42 weeks and that was nothing short of disheartening for me! I couldn’t take it anymore. I was not only wadding about, standing up now needed assistance and insomnia was my middle name.

Sent Back home at 40 weeks! Lawd!!

We walked into L&D (Labour and delivery) at 11pm on 22nd January. Pains had disappeared and I was embarrassed so I lied that I needed to know the baby was doing okay as movement had reduced. I was due for clinic in a day so I’d take any excuse to get me checked. They checked me, all right, and baby was doing pretty well! “You are dilated at only 2cm, your cervix lies pretty low and its not thinned so go back home and come back when the pain is really intense, like You-cant-speak-through-a-contraction painful.” The labour signs were recited to me and I barely gave an ear. I knew the drill. I just wasn’t too happy about going back home.

Is this it?

4am the following morning found me awake and in terrible pain. I had lost my plug during the check up at the hospital and I knew it wouldn’t be long now. Part of me celebrated, but a larger chunk of my heart was petrified of what lay ahead. Odi Dance, or is it Kanungo…why did I get myself into this…I thought wildly. I needed to stay positive though. “It wont go beyond a night…” I whispered to myself. “All these beautiful things will finally belong to someone. She will be out of me and I can finally sleep on my belly…Yaaaaaaas!” Ouuch!

 

Painful Contraction.

 

They were spaced 6 minutes apart and disappeared again when my mom and sis dropped by. They came to cheer me on and ended up with some form of a leach aka me following them through all their errands. I knew I was going back in, only I wanted to hit the 4cm mark when I would.

 

My sister and I got our nails done.

 

Yes…through the now reduced-but-still-there contractions. Trust me, when its baby number three, you want to walk into L&D and have them hand you your baby. I would have killed for such a scenario but no; that was never the tale that would be told of the Mwambi’s third.

At last! Oh wait, what?

10:30pm and I was at 4cm no thinning yet and worse, my waters were meconium stained at levels they said were too high for induction or progression. I was given two hours to go about my Odi- Dance before a decision of whether to go CS or normal was made. Nevertheless… I was admitted! Yaaaay! I wasn’t very worried about going CS. Raine pooped in utero as well and she came out good, no meconium inhalation whatsoever. Anna would too. She was a fighter… I could feel it…now!

 

More painful contractions

 

We went on counting hours and walking about. Walking really does help, you know. I sent updates to my husband, but assured him we would hack it. They had taken blood samples and asked me to give him my wedding band; I was being prepared for an emergency CS. I knew he wouldn’t take it too well, knowing I have never been under the knife (You never know what can happen when its your first time you know) so I decided against giving him my ring.

TICK! TOCK!

Midnight and we were at 6! Aha! “This is very good progress” Doc said. I smiled amidst dry lips. ”So we proceed?” he nodded, and asked that I get something to help my cervix soften. I was handling it well. At 2:50pm, knowing I should be close to 9cm, I got impatient and every contraction was received with despair and lost hope. I became miserable…its what happens when you have been running for the bathroom, pressed to pee and you give up and leak just when you get to the bathroom door. I was tired and in need of redemption.

Then, at 3:30am, 24th of January, Little Ariella came into this world, screaming fiercely and topping the Apgar score for the night. It was finally over; my third and last pregnancy at only 31. Wooohooo! Motherhood, I am ready to face you in totality and with all my energy. Sexy, just watch me get my hottest me back. Wink* Wink*

Signed….

Hawt Mama Loading

Welcome Baby!

As every beginning has an end, so does my 40-week journey through my third and last (Lord I pray) pregnancy. I would like to say it was easy because it was for the most part, but trust me not to engage your senses in details you’d rather not go through. Whats most important is what happened at 3:30 am on the 24th day of January 2018; little Anna C. was born. Scoring highest on the Apgar scale despite her meconium distress, she came into the world like a little champion.

Meeting Anna Chanya

One look at her and my heart melted. Her face was too delicate; her voice so meek. She was terrified and took in the sound of my voice with all the trust she has. I felt bad for the countless times I wished she were a boy. Clearly, fate had other plans for me. I would raise three very beautiful and intelligent girls whose future can only look up. That was in itself satisfying for me. I nurse my newest bundle of joy with a lot of content thoughts and hope that no one expects me back in L& D unless I’m escorting another expectant woman in.

The Perfect Family

Back home, Anna fills her place like the last piece of a puzzle. Her sisters can’t believe how tiny she is and they all get protective of her every whimper. This is my version of a perfect family. Where there is happiness and love to share. It doesn’t matter who comprises of it, be it more boys than girls, one parent or no children at all, we all just have to work best with what we get. Life seems unfair when we feel it doesn’t give us what we ask for, but I look it with a lot of optimism. As only God knows of my tomorrow, only he would know best to gift me with what he feels I would handle best. So now a new chapter has begun. Lets do parenting for three and see how it goes!

New Year Resolutions?

Oh yes, It’s still January, 53 days later! We are still alive, surviving on the cabbages and spinach we had snorted at back in December. House helps who had disappeared to go enjoy the holidays in full are now asking for their jobs back and while there are bills to pay and children to raise, it’s a new year with bigger and greater opportunities to make the world a better place. We may have decided not to make any more resolutions and this may be the best for some of us who barely tick off past the third vow, but we must at least have a goal to add us some form of sanity this year.

Complain Less

Lets try to appreciate that everything really does happen for a reason, sometimes unknown to us. Let us look at situations with a more optimistic eye, believing that bad situations could as well have been worse and good things will always follow us when we are good.

Appreciate more

It never hurts to appreciate others, nor do we lose anything when we give a good word. In our effort to be positive towards life, let us encourage others when they do well, no matter how small. I am looking at showing kind words to my house help, children, husband and colleagues at work.

 

Grow more

No matter what, don’t be the same as you were last year. Purpose to be better, stronger, wealthier, and well, just don’t remain stagnant! Lets teach our children better growth tactics

Revealing the Gender to my other children

Last clinic day (hopefully) at 36 weeks found me getting another unplanned ultrasound. That previous night my eldest daughter had insisted on going for the check up with us. I should probably have said yes, but thinking it would be a usual 10 minutes doctor’s visit, I dismissed her request and asked her to help Yvette decorate the house for her sister’s fourth birthday. At the hospital all seemed well, but imagery and some blood work was insisted on to make sure all was as good as it seemed. This only meant one more thing for me; yet another chance to get a sneak peak on baby’s gender…and well, how big a head I would be dealing with!

It’s a baby Girl!

While the head measReured 38 weeks the rest of baby was 37 and 6 days. Standing at 2.9 kilos I am most definitely having a baby bigger than both my daughters at birth. She looked perfect and as usual kicked everything in her way including the sonographer’s instruments. I prayed for acceptance and this is perhaps what God wanted me to do because it was answered immediately. I fell so deeply in love with my new baby and for the first time since I discovered I was expectant, I couldn’t wait to meet her.

 I am a Grateful Mama!

“You’re going to have a little sister,” I whispered in Raine’s ear and her reaction was beyond impressive. “Yaaaaaaay!” and in seconds she had disappeared, screaming away in excitement. She didn’t want a brother all along, but only because girls in our hood only played with fellow girls while boys chased and played rough ball games. Minutes later, Pesh, my eldest came running back. “Is it true, mum?” We’re having a sister?” Much as I would have loved the experience of having a son and for them to have a baby brother, it is God’s will that our last also be a girl. I accept her fully and plan to spoil her and her sisters with a lot of love. I have amazing, healthy babies and this for me just does it.

Published on 17th Jan 2018

Looking into 2018

We’re barely heel-deep into 2018 and the mad rush is already here with us. School fees, uniforms, books, shoes and bags, oh wait, there are hairdos to take care of too! Its crazy everywhere! Kids are having trouble going to bed so early and waking up even earlier. Raine claimed to have forgotten all her sounds and all the numeric they learnt last term. Sigh. I am not sure how much damage the two-month-holiday has done to this kids. They have literary been on vacation enjoying sleepovers with their cousins, travelling to rural areas, others out on trips. I hardly saw any books touched. TV remotes were taken over and our kitchens… man, don’t get me started on the food budgets!

Schools Open

I am perhaps one of the few parents who would rather have their kids home than school…well, ‘cept for this past holiday I spent so much on food and power bills thanks to all the baking and frying we did. Schools finally started and the excitement in my girls knowing they now join new classes with unique names could not be contained. Raine is in PP1 and Pesh in Grade Three; sounds like we just moved to some state in the US. These kids are lucky school is getting easy for them. They are sure to enjoy the fewer, more interactive lessons unlike us who struggled to master a zillion books!

Njaanuary Pains

It’s only 10th and the month feels old already. It’s been January forever, hasn’t it now? It’s even longer for me, having the kids come home from school each day hoping to meet their new sibling. They look rather fed up with my large belly. If only they knew I’ve had enough of it too! I am tired of walking like a duck; breathing heavily, looking like impending doom and having everyone wait on a slow me to move along. Anytime now this journey will only be a story to tell, and I will be the newest mommy of three in town! Now that’s something to look forward to this month!

Cheers to a better year, 2018!

So we made it to 2018! Happy New Year people! It almost seems as though 2017 slipped right underneath us, right? We almost didn’t do anything at all! Several times I felt guilty, receiving a salary I had hardly worked for. For the most part, we watched people lose their jobs and companies get shut down. We counted losses and much as we sent out our few invoices, we were made to wait till the end of the year if we were to get any returns. Life was tough and we all are quite relieved to be here, in a new year, free from the shackles of politics, tension and dark days.

Making the Most of this year

I am on my final lap in this pregnant journey and I plan to work till my waters break. Trouble is I am due smack in the middle if the month unlike my previous December bliss experiences. Anything could happen while I am 40km away from home. After losing jobs twice last year hubs decided to try out something new. I feel it’s about time especially since he will be flexible and around when I need him at home. We have decided to go for online writing and as soon as baby comes, investing in a reliable home Internet plan and a good computer shall be our next endeavor. I may also get into it, depending on how much time I manage to spare and if it works, then this year will most certainly be one different and busy one!

What to look Forward To?

The kids are not very excited about going back to school. The only two things they seem thrilled about is going into new classes and knowing baby will be coming home this month. The latter steals the show. Raine is already making plans of carrying the newborn into her class, co-sleeping and being the official best friend. Pesh has more mature plans. She promises to help bathe the baby and stay in charge when I go back to work. Looks like I will have a lot of help this time around. Ain’t I one lucky mommy!

Published on Wed 3rd Jan 2018

 

So you are Reeeeally ready to start a Family?

It’s been quite a while and man did I miss blogging! I usually like it when I get the drive to write, lest I indulge and perhaps bore you to death with meaningless gibberish. I was having a few thoughts to myself a while back and realised many people, myself included ended up starting a family with just cues of what is expected of a woman and a man. No one taught us how to live with another human being and have your own little beings, offering answers to every situation and case studies of how it works.

 

Bridal showers and marital counseling do prepare you, but do they entirely?

Bridal showers do help a great lot except when everyone gives you’re their own experiences and expect you will take their testimonies…forgetting that we don’t all marry similar characters or end up in similar situations in marriage. We all go through challenges and none is ever quite the same as the other. While one couple will battle with childbirth or the lack of it, another will face childlessness and discrimination. While one battles with lack of employment, the next couple will have one spouse not cooperative in budgets and spending and will end up stuck in rut holes earning so much and heading nowhere. We all have unique things that make our marriages unique; we also have those things that make us similar in humanity. Those are what I intend to engage you with today.

Bridal Showers….

When your man Helps Around

When a union is made, we all think we can now have all the fun we had to sneak around to do, and perhaps we do, except we now can’t run from the mess we usually left behind. Deep down a man’s mind he knows he doesn’t need to call the laundry lady anymore or keep burning his fingers putting a meal together. They will smile when you ask for help and they will secretly pray you get yourself organized in time because one day they will not. You may think you are lucky that your man does house chores, only, see how they act when male friends visit… they hop onto the band wagon of being ‘True African Men’ who wouldn’t be caught dead doing a woman’s job. Lets appreciate when they help…trust me our fathers didn’t teach them to wear petticoats or tie lessos when we need help. This is a lesson we are now teaching our sons.

 

When Women expect too much

Let me promise to tell what goes on in a man’s mind…I am still cracking mine’s head up because he wont make it any easy for me. What I have learnt however is they can only genuinely do what they have watched their father’s do. You will notice that most men who are barely there for their children in a home, chasing them off into their bedrooms to keep out their noise had their own fathers do the same to them. Most men who hit their wives only learnt this from..Erm…the best? A family built on mutual respect, love and care for each other will hardly build up children with a stranger character. A child who grows up watching his father protect his mother from harm will never lay a finger on his own. A man who’s sisters’ taught him to help around the house will never find it hard to get down and dirty helping his wife. Women need to understand the kind of men they get involved with before they commit to them. This will help them get a light image of what to expect from them.

I remember pushing my husband to wake up at night to help me with the baby, back in 2009 when we had our first. It was so easy for my friends’ husbands and they made me think mine fell short if he wouldn’t. This turned out to be frustrating for him, keeping awake most nights and having to work the following day! When I realised I could take more than he could, handle the baby better and multitask easier than he could, I stopped pushing him and worked around myself. He somehow managed to get into my schedule, giving me an hour or two each evening to take a nap while he played with the baby. I realised he offered more when I didn’t ask because he really wanted to be part of our child’s development, only not under duress! There’s more; so much more examples I could give but time does limit and we have so much to catch up with.

The Two-Week-Wait

Trying for a baby? Here are my experience of the two week wait of my last pregnancy on the next post sooner than this one did!. Lots of TMIs on this one but I promise to make it fun!

 

 

When a woman becomes a mother

It all starts with an oblivious perception of what motherhood is. “I’m going to be a mother!” It’s pure thrill!…”just like her, or maybe I’ll be just like my mother. Perhaps better, I mean, my mom was a tough nut so I should be better, no?” You just found out you are pregnant and suddenly the world changed view. It looks funny, doesn’t smell any better and my, you suddenly notice the many children around you! “I will now cease from being just me” You fantasize and start picturing yourself as ‘Mama Nani’ and not just Alice anymore…and while to some it’s a terrifying reality, most women lovingly welcome their BFP (Big Fat Positive)

Fitting In

 

The oblivious journey begins from here with you, reading through baby blogs, week after week and rushing to the obstetrician each time you suspect something isn’t right. Baby movements begin with uncomfortable stitch-like pains between week 18 and 20 and you check into hospital again, scared sh*tless because tot may have accidentally moved into your rib cage and got trapped there.

Phew! You survive the first trimester and begin to enjoy the calm period. You go out with your girls hoping to still fit in, shop for baby stuff and trendy outfits for yourself. Damn! You make pregnancy look so good, all your friends now want to fit in with you! You are rocking it silly and out of nowhere, the pride of your looming status checks in…

 

I wonder though….

 

What do our mothers and moms to teens and grown up- children think of new and younger moms? Have you ever thought about it? When they see young moms in parenting blogs claiming to have hacked it in marriage and parenting yet they bag less than 10 years in it. Do they scoff at us? Or perhaps mock? Why wouldn’t these moms find some hobby and share their experiences too?

 

We really can’t help it, you know…

 

See, the moment you get pregnant, you suddenly feel as though you have experienced it all, and now know what it is like to carry a child…and by all means, you do…You feel so wise you would buy a crown and walk with a stick if you could. You get your first baby and it’s an occurrence to behold! You can’t wait to put it down in words! So you start a blog and plaster as many photos of your baby as it can hold. Ha! I know I did that! You get your second child and no one can tell you what it is like to be a mother to multiple children.

 

They are still very young, but it doesn’t matter. You are now a self-proclaimed expert on parenting…I know because I felt like I had made it to the sky, hugged the moon and waved at the sun. Now, what happens when a third child comes and your head won’t grow any bigger? You go quiet and watch first time moms follow your trend, right? Hmm.

 

I am a culprit!

I am not here to attack young parents, no. I am one myself and I have written all the crazy, embarrassing stuff on my babies too. I am simply trying to show you how crazy, yet sanely normal the changes are that happen to a woman when she becomes a mother.

She suddenly has to grow up, be more responsible and think of others before herself; she has to answer questions she would love to know answers to and has to work harder than she used to keep up with life demands. Funny, we do it all and with a big smile.

 

So, when a woman becomes a mother…

It’s simply because it’s a joy to be a mother; to have a child is to have someone who loves you with their existence and want to be just like you. You’re their all-time best friend and your presence itself takes away every discomfort they have.

A new mother’s life changes so much she feels as though she was not living before her baby was born. It’s as if her life was meaningless, without purpose and with nothing to look forward to. It’s a pure feeling and one only experience can teach and one no one can ever take away. Whether the baby is a new born, a toddler a pre-schooler or a teen…whether the child didn’t make it past a certain age and whether it is adopted or a surrogate child…motherhood is that feeling of responsibility to a child. The connection that draws you to put their lives ahead of yours. Its a beautiful feeling, whether cut short or lives on. Lets embrace it just as it is.

What Are we teaching Our children?

What goes through your mind when you see a child, running to school, alone in the rain, wearing tattered clothes, a cardigan that must have been used to erase a lot of chalk, sagging socks and a soaking back pack? Do you ever wonder what their parents were thinking when they let them take off like that? Were there parents even around to let them head out that way? Don’t you wonder what they think about life? because it must be a real sonofabitch!

They reflect who you are

What do you think a child will do when you curse at them or others around them? “Stupid Fool,” You say easily even to the defense of your child, but do you ever stop to think that your child absorbs this and will use it on another person? Oh wait; do you know they might even use it on you some day? I see my children playing house and I watch to see how they act my role out. You know I never quite realized how much I walk when I pick a call till I saw my now three-year old walk all over the house looking for a quiet corner to sit and talk. These kids are a reflection of who we are, why lie. She even used her hands to express herself! Then I had to stop my seven year old from kissing my cheek all the time. Do I do that too? Lawd!!

Monkey see, Monkey Do- yeah this pretty much means the same thing…

Now, do you teach your children humility when you are not humble yourself? Do you ask them to apologize to their older siblings when you can’t say sorry for misunderstanding them? Are you teaching them to be responsible or should they pick up, ‘survival for the fittest’ tact through such experiences? Do you know how to share or are you the kind of person who hides meals inside microwaves when a guest shows up? :-/  Hmmm I can almost swear that many parents have no clue they have bad habits that they pass down.

How do you expect your child to speak to their teachers when you attack them aggressively in their presence, shout and threaten to sue them?

Dann right I could ask you a million more questions… what do you want the kids to do with a knife when you hold it up against your wife in a fight? They will most certainly not only use them to chop carrots.

Let’s be better parents

Do you ask that your children be kept away by their mother so they don’t bother your with their noise and gazillion questions? What do you want them to do with their childhood for Pete’s sake? Do you complain a lot about your society and teach your children to keep complaining about it too? Why not show them what they can do to be better? What are we teaching our children really? To survive this world or to make it a better place for their children and grand children in years to come? It’s all up to you, you know.

Investing with your spouse? Depends…

This topic has raised a myriad of questions and shaken the strength of many weak relationships. So it’s clear that many marriages in the 21st century are built on money and selfishness: and lots of it! The only reason people keep their things to themselves is simple! They don’t want to share! On a radio-talk show, someone argued that the reason Indians couples share their investments is because they marry their relatives. We, the rest of the world marry apparently marry complete strangers and if I keep on with this thought I think I will go absolutely bonkers. I wonder though why we marry people we don’t trust. Seriously, why do that?

 

Where did we go wrong?

 

If you can truly spend hundreds of thousands to stop people from their lives so they come watch you get a ring on, go ahead and have a child, then another, even worse, lock yourself at night and get all naked and vulnerable…and sleep!! …Next to someone you don’t trust, then I must have landed on the wrong planet. Surely! Did people take life lessons too hard? Is everyone getting too cautious or is this really where we are now? Or is it the movies? Wait, who made Mr. and Mrs. Smith? Perhaps that Simon dude should have been stopped. This is the first movie I remember that made us all wonder if our spouses were in the National Intelligence Service and we were being watched round the clock.

So, the Question…

 

Would you invest in your spouse? Me? Yes I would. I would rather not judge my husband over all stereotypes or all the mistakes other men make. I give him the benefit and entrust him with the responsibility of not letting me down. If he shows me he is not to be trusted, then that will already tell me he doesn’t have my best interest at heart. Good to know! The next question I’d want to understand would not be if he loves me. We are already married and I should know this by now. So, ‘Are we living a lie or is this a genuine problem?’- Would be my next concern.

Should he trust me with his property and wealth? Yes he should unless I give him a reason not to, which would only mean that he made a mistake marrying me in the first place!

 

Here is one major problem though

If you got hooked up after wealth was accumulated, whether you are a lady or man, the question, are you a gold digger? Will always linger in your spouse’s mind, and in their relative’s minds… and in your friend’s minds and your mind too. So you should perhaps get married to someone who is willing to accumulate wealth with you preferably from scratch. I sadly can’t think of any other way anyone will trust you with wealth you never took part in accruing. I just can’t.