February 9, 2012
I take a moment to remember the old lady in one of my posts, ‘Extraordinary Big heart…not literary’. If you never caught it, follow this link, http://faymwambi.blog.com/?p=164 . It talks of an old lady I met when we travelled to Taita. The old lady passed on the 2nd February 2012. May God rest her soul eternal in peace. For those of you who thought I cooked that story up…I will haunt you in your dreams…ok, I’m kidding.
My last post caused a stir. It got more hits than usual and this only proved that relationships are very imperative. Human beings respond greatly to feelings and so did you. Some of you even went ahead and told me I’ve been wasting space on this blog, posting other irrelevant stuff. That instead I should be a sex auntie for real!
Roles play… Aunty Fanne speaks…Fanne the sex auntie…..Talk to Fanne…..naaaaah. I give up. My name alone sounds horrid in that phrase!
I thought the last post was leaning a lot on estrogen; too much female talk. It even occurred to me that some of you may think I’m living in a bubble; that one day I may need to wake up and face reality. I needed help.
My husband being one of my greatest fans also supports me in this. Have you ever been incited into anger? (Forget the post election crisis). That’s what I did to him. I then bribed him with something he loves and got him to be my first guest writer. The following are words from the man I call mine. Never mind the Jimmy Gathu anger he brings out, I did that!
“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage, or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” ~Anaïs Nin
These words were spoken by Anais Nin a French Cuban author. With her words she managed to epitomize what the heart of every woman in any relationship demands from her spouse. These are her needs, her wants. The onus falls upon us men to make our significant others desires materialize into reality.
Women are a force to be reckoned with but at the same time their ability to trust in their partners is unrivalled by any other creature on Gods green earth. This piece is mostly directed to men who have wives and girlfriends who the claim to love.
There is something that has been gnawing at my conscience. I always wonder why men find it so easy to cheat on their significant other, throwing caution to the wind, without realizing how much that single act of sex means. This is how I look at sex. I place it on a pedestal, I feel that sex should only be shared between two people who are bonded by love, and are committed to one other.sex is a gift that was bestowed on us by the Almighty to serve a purpose of procreation and pleasure to the two participants. Not three just two. A woman’s body is the most elegant piece of artistry that has ever been witnessed by mankind .Her form, her poise, her shape………should I continue? All features of a perfect creation. I imagine what sex means to a woman who is cultured and morally upright, I imagine that it is the ultimate form of submission and trust that a woman can show her spouse; an act that lays bare her inadequacies and her fears. An act that enables her to share these fears with her mate, an act that will enable their two souls and bodies to mingle and mesh into one being, and in that spirit of oneness nothing matters to her but what she feels, the connection, the pleasure the trust, the love. This is what sex means to a woman.
Knowing this about our women means that as men we are the ultimate guardians of their hearts. We are supposed to shield their hearts jealously and with zeal from hurt, because her heart is the frailest of all her senses, prone to break easily. When a woman entrust you with her body, she is giving you all that she has got, all that she is mind, body and spirit and she expects that you will accept it with gratitude and forsake all others because she considers herself unique to you and only you thus she expects that you to consider her in the same light. It is impossible to take all that from a woman and still seek satisfaction from somewhere else. So what does this say about men who seek sexual gratification outside the matrimonial beds..?It says that the relationship is a sham at least from his view. It means that ultimately what the woman gives to this man as a sign of love and commitment isn’t enough. How can you say that you love a woman and still not consider her to be enough? Oxymoron anyone? How can you claim before man and God to love and protect her, to be the guardian of her heart and then turn around to be her ultimate ruin..?I dare ask.
I say you can’t, any real man out there who loves his woman will be faithful no matter what. There is no excuse to share what was meant for your other half with a third party. It is our responsibility to honor ourselves by preserving our bodies for our women only giving them ownership of what is rightfully theirs, ourselves.Let the issues in our relationships be the normal issues that ordinary couples go through, but not issues of infidelity. Know her value and appreciate her for what she is, love her for who she is. Simply put,wacheni mpango ya kando.