That moment when you feel so mortal…

The night was sombre, cold and weary; dark with the clouds swaying so low you could literary smell their thickness in the air. The rainy season was fast approaching and as usual my family and I kept warm from the chill. Meanwhile, Vivian, (I would like to change her name to Presley- I risk getting caught! Remember the name changing episode I told you about?), worked herself off in the kitchen frying, stirring and making sure to fully own the kitchen space. She wore her favorite apron that she would simply tie round her waist and still show off her girlie top. Pesh was warmly dressed as she took to the floor racing her plastic chair like she would a car; from the kitchen and straight to the end of the living room. We happen to have an open kitchen plan that at some point we regret especially when particular foods are prepared. Pesh raced on, driving us mad as we struggled to watch the prime time news amidst all the noise.

It was on a Thursday and the menu read rice and beef stew. All seemed well till I heard a knock on the door and immediately stood up to get it. I felt a pang of dizziness that sent me back into my seat, leaving me both confused and terrified at the same time. Justin’s attention was with me and Pesh loudly voiced, “Mom! What is it?” Presley got the door. It was no one worth rushing for; the monthly security was due. Justin sorted it out and came back to sit next to me although I felt better already. Pesh went on playing and occasionally ran up to peer into my face and make sure I was alright.
The following morning, I went to work at my usual time; however I felt unusually hungry. I could not hold it any longer so I stopped by a supermarket in town and bought me some queen cakes. I carried them in my bag and took my second bus to work. I constantly kept having the urge to pull one out; something I was not used to doing especially if it was meant to go down with some hot beverage at my office desk… this was getting interesting… I let my hunger rule and quickly pulled one cake out. Without a care in the world, I munched it up systematically pulling out another and taking it all in three huge bites. I surprised myself when I felt OK and full enough to get to work before I could eat again.

I seemed OK at work; except the part where I forgot it was time to send out monthly invoices for our clients. My boss sent me a reminder; not too pleased that for the past two years I have always been on time, and then suddenly it didn’t seem as important anymore. I apologized remorsefully and went ahead to send an invoice that read 0.00 in a neat PDF document. It read paid in my records and I only realized this grave mistake, four hours into the day. Just when I found out I had made a mistake and began rectifying it, the telephone line by my desk rang. The extension number that read on the screen was enough to get my heart on a marathon race and I had this dying urge to ignore it and pretend I was in the bathroom. Unfortunately, I happen to be a bad pretender. I picked the handset up and answered it meekly. His booming voice on the other end wasn’t helping much as I quickly explained that I had just dispatched the correct hard copy (which I still held in my trembling hands. He sounded like he was trying hard to understand me; for some reason, he seemed to comprehend me better than I did myself. I was creeping myself out.

By midday I was already ravenous and surprisingly, I didn’t fancy any food. I held my hunger two more hours and by the time our lunch lady came in, I was so hungry, I never thought fasting could happen while still on a heavy meal. I felt disgusted by my own saliva and the food could not go down. “It must be the hunger” I thought it’s that feeling one gets when they starve too long and suddenly have a heavy meal. My tummy could not hold it so I rushed into the bathroom and it all came out. Scared and confused, I opted to have fruit salad till my body got normal. The salad went down well despite the metal taste in my mouth and every time it landed inside I felt a sense of reassurance. That evening, I went home peacefully and all seemed well till I got off the bus in my hunger surge, I went straight into butchery and bought a large chunk of mutura gobbling it all with a lot of chilli. This was getting too much. I picked up a dozen pregnancy test kits from a chemist nearby and slowly trotted home.

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