It all starts with an oblivious perception of what motherhood is. “I’m going to be a mother!” It’s pure thrill!…”just like her, or maybe I’ll be just like my mother. Perhaps better, I mean, my mom was a tough nut so I should be better, no?” You just found out you are pregnant and suddenly the world changed view. It looks funny, doesn’t smell any better and my, you suddenly notice the many children around you! “I will now cease from being just me” You fantasize and start picturing yourself as ‘Mama Nani’ and not just Alice anymore…and while to some it’s a terrifying reality, most women lovingly welcome their BFP (Big Fat Positive)
Fitting In
The oblivious journey begins from here with you, reading through baby blogs, week after week and rushing to the obstetrician each time you suspect something isn’t right. Baby movements begin with uncomfortable stitch-like pains between week 18 and 20 and you check into hospital again, scared sh*tless because tot may have accidentally moved into your rib cage and got trapped there.
Phew! You survive the first trimester and begin to enjoy the calm period. You go out with your girls hoping to still fit in, shop for baby stuff and trendy outfits for yourself. Damn! You make pregnancy look so good, all your friends now want to fit in with you! You are rocking it silly and out of nowhere, the pride of your looming status checks in…
I wonder though….
What do our mothers and moms to teens and grown up- children think of new and younger moms? Have you ever thought about it? When they see young moms in parenting blogs claiming to have hacked it in marriage and parenting yet they bag less than 10 years in it. Do they scoff at us? Or perhaps mock? Why wouldn’t these moms find some hobby and share their experiences too?
We really can’t help it, you know…
See, the moment you get pregnant, you suddenly feel as though you have experienced it all, and now know what it is like to carry a child…and by all means, you do…You feel so wise you would buy a crown and walk with a stick if you could. You get your first baby and it’s an occurrence to behold! You can’t wait to put it down in words! So you start a blog and plaster as many photos of your baby as it can hold. Ha! I know I did that! You get your second child and no one can tell you what it is like to be a mother to multiple children.
They are still very young, but it doesn’t matter. You are now a self-proclaimed expert on parenting…I know because I felt like I had made it to the sky, hugged the moon and waved at the sun. Now, what happens when a third child comes and your head won’t grow any bigger? You go quiet and watch first time moms follow your trend, right? Hmm.
I am a culprit!
I am not here to attack young parents, no. I am one myself and I have written all the crazy, embarrassing stuff on my babies too. I am simply trying to show you how crazy, yet sanely normal the changes are that happen to a woman when she becomes a mother.
She suddenly has to grow up, be more responsible and think of others before herself; she has to answer questions she would love to know answers to and has to work harder than she used to keep up with life demands. Funny, we do it all and with a big smile.
So, when a woman becomes a mother…
It’s simply because it’s a joy to be a mother; to have a child is to have someone who loves you with their existence and want to be just like you. You’re their all-time best friend and your presence itself takes away every discomfort they have.
A new mother’s life changes so much she feels as though she was not living before her baby was born. It’s as if her life was meaningless, without purpose and with nothing to look forward to. It’s a pure feeling and one only experience can teach and one no one can ever take away. Whether the baby is a new born, a toddler a pre-schooler or a teen…whether the child didn’t make it past a certain age and whether it is adopted or a surrogate child…motherhood is that feeling of responsibility to a child. The connection that draws you to put their lives ahead of yours. Its a beautiful feeling, whether cut short or lives on. Lets embrace it just as it is.
