Tag Archives: Relationships

Love the Kenyan way Pt 2

A typical African man will want to be like his father. “I am my father’s son!” he will go about thumping his chest. Probably the very same way his father would say about his grandfather. However, the Kenyan man is making an effort to pull away from this trend. If his father was abusive and violent, and gave is mother no respect, then he strives to be his exact opposite. I know of some ladies who celebrate the birth of a boy child, not because an heir has finally risen; but because when this boy grows up, his mother will enjoy full protection against an abusive man.
This post is not all about abusive men. This just gives me a perfect example of what happened in our father’s time that doesn’t happen now…well not so much. Back in the day, a young man would literary chase down a young beautiful woman while on her way to serve boiled yams to her grandmother. The chase would be intense and with the help of other young men, she would be made his wife almost instantly. As a wife, a woman’s place was the kitchen and the children. She would ensure everyone is well fed, cleaned up and that her husband gets the best share of everything available.
Since we have very few historic books to guide us in our effort to emulate our fore fathers, we tend to seek counsel from our families. Our priorities have changed. Basic needs are no longer food water or shelter; and not in that order anyway. To survive earth, you need health, wealth, fame… and the rest follow…in that order.
Now, to find love in Kenya, you must
• Be rich, or pretend to be
• Be some body’s previous…even current husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend…you just need that kind of experience
• Be a home-maker and at the same time a money-maker…showing potential will do too
• Be ready to test your reproductive system..no offence.
Now before those eggs and tomatoes come crashing on my face, this is merely my opinion no research team, hired. Here are my reasons in form of questions:-
• Why would a man have to borrow a friend’s jeep to floss and get a girl to go out with him?
• Why would my husband be a target for young lads in a joint simply because he wore the two dazzling silver rings I bought him on his birthday?
• Why would a woman want my husband barely months after we got married? And why would a man want to try and confuse me just before I say ‘I do’?
• Why would a man sleep with your house-help yet when you lose your job he would thrash you like a three year old?
• Why do we all… (hehe am a culprit here) choose to have babies before saying ‘I do’ ? Do we doubt what we are capable of, really?
Man, don’t we make our mothers’ cry! Much as we are being westernised, its nice that we are still retaining what our fathers taught us. These Mombasa cases should never be heard of again. Here are my 3 cents, for whatever it counts. Don’t name your children animals anymore. We have a God to believe in so Simba? really? Well at the same time… those wazungu names we use and we have no idea what they mean… lets do more research. We cannot have a blonde’s name residing in south Nyanza. Men, if your wife is beautiful, don’t step all over her so that she loses her confidence and sticks to you. She chose you to be the only one who can have her no matter how many salivate after her. Men, polygamy is illegal before the law and a sin before God…nothing to give Caesar here. You cannot date someone for two years, love her and want to marry her only to ask what your folks think on the day of the ruracio. How do you expect them to love her in a day when it took you months? And anyway, what if they don’t like her… were they there when you fell head over heels for her? Certainly not! and neither will they be there when she rocks your night and makes you go gaga over her. Did I censor this post earlier on?
Women, when you man loses his job, don’t laugh and tell everyone who cares to listen about it. Cover him up…show him you are his best friends as we know our true friends when we have nothing to offer. Hard as it may be, please him… for men, a good session of love making cures everything from flu to low self-esteem. Don’t punish him because he never bought you that god coated ring. A man may be led by his body to want another woman about you, but when he remembers what you have been to him…that’s when he can make a decision. Let’s keep being Kenyan. Let’s make Kenyan love spicy, peeps.

The Beautiful Ones Keep Getting Born; We Just Miss Out

I am not always annoyed. I do smile a lot; even laugh sometimes… I discovered that true joy comes even when I am not necessarily happy. I know it makes no sense, but it works when you have that faith and belief that nothing ever on this earth lasts for ever. That includes our problems. I have been hurt, cheated, insulted, and almost stabbed, I think. And at that time, my world was filled with a lot of sadness. I found myself hanging on to men who would never hang on to me. I particularly sort the beautiful ones; yes, the ones too handsome, they’d start looking beautiful; the ones that everyone else would fight me to death for.

I thought I was beautiful enough to keep the other girls away. I thought what I saw in the movies could work for us. The spark I felt when I saw them gaze in each others’ eyes remained stronger in me than them and it died a few years ago when I followed them up online and discovered it was just an act. I lived in a fantasy bubble that I never quite needed anyone to burst. I was that Snow White that enjoyed the dreams in her sleep even when my prince was miles away. My parents never helped much when they bought me the whole collection of the fantasy children’s books. Rapunzel made it; so did Cinderella and snow white so why not me? Just last year they tried to bring my fantasy alive with a movie they called Snow White and the Huntsman…I held my breath for a second, thinking the spark would come alive…but there still was no happily ever after. Maybe then I would have told you I’m the worst person to talk of realistic love. But I’m not; true love still shines even when you are old and wrinkly and your husband tells you, “Honey, I love how they form around your eyes when you smile”



I am not saying the handsome ones make the worst husbands, or that beautiful wives make the best home-makers, no! But you need to remember that good looks are a mere temporary state. It’s a survival mechanism for attraction to form relationships. Imagine if the whole world had ugly men and women with really foul smells. We would only be there for procreation but we would never quite stand each other. We would probably only seek males and females in total darkness only.  So get my point here. Good looks serve the major purpose to bring the attraction thing going. Once you find each other, look beyond it. Seek the beauty in character and in the heart.  Once you find it, then you know you will be in it for long, for sure.

Snow White

Most women I know, including myself, enjoy the attention of being admired. It boosts our confidence and makes out men proud to have chased and won us over. One thing we constantly forget is that the world out there is full of these major kinds of people.

Those who really care

Those who never notice

Those who steal and

Those who kill

Those who care: – Care enough to respect a woman even when she is over-the top, beautiful. They admire a beautiful woman and constantly get the urge to want to be their protector and have them around always. This kind of a man won’t mind what you look like when you wake up in the morning or when you just removed your wig. They will watch you to see if you too can appreciate beyond what he uses to attract your attention. Will you still stick around if he needs to sell his car? Will you help him iron his creased shirt or will your pretend not to know him when he shows up in one? If despite all the beauty you hold or the great looks you have, you still care for your partner, you are the almost perfect type and anyone would like to keep you around longer.

Those who never notice; – actually do notice, only, they don’t give it much attention. This kind of person can meet a very beautiful looking woman who loves what she does and does it well; and later, start changing them into something else. Suddenly, she is warned to dress differently or to refrain from doing her hair a certain way. They become advisors and tell you what they think works better for you. Instead of making you a better person, they choose to bring you down and get to be the one in control. This happens mostly with the chauvinistic type of men. They will make sure to take away your beautiful glow and make you miserable in your relationship. As a result, you lose your confidence and self esteem and for ever stick around them since you believe that only they like you and can stand your flaws. These are the kind on people you meet and wonder what happened. Are they bewitched or what? What a waste of goodness!

Those who steal: – are the ones I constantly meet. They are all over the place! I am not sure you have noticed that most men and women get more attractive when they are in great relationships or when they get married. You may not know this but your skin glows when you are settled and happy unlike when you are hurting from heartbreak or when you are miserable and stuck in it. I get hits on my online sites by men who despite seeing that I am married and seem happy, still hit on me. These are thieves who want to take short cuts to get someone they are interested in. they never last in their relationships though since they have no idea how to maintain the glow. For them, the solution would be to hop over and steal a better, happier and exciting looking partner.

Those who kill: – Now these are the ones I warn people to stay away from. These have no regard for others and whenever they see something good, they bring it down by comparing with a better one. Or worse still steal, eat and kill for no one else to admire. Heard of rapists and those psychos who get locked up? Indeed. Be careful of serial rapists and murderous who get too overwhelmed with life’s normalcy they get sick of it. Talk to me and let me know what other sorts of people you know.

Lovey Dovey New Year!

It feels empty, this house. I can’t believe since I cleaned it last time, no one bothered to do it again. I am shocked; no one even paid it a visit! Is that how friends treat each other nowadays? Hmm…! How sad. I only have two messages on the telephone machine. One is from a cousin I never want to talk to since he told me my daughter has a big head. The other is the telephone service company asking me to update their services on my system; seriously?

Dust is everywhere. Spiders made my house theirs and its starting to look like the witch moved in too…yet it’s only been a month! Or has it?

Fine; I will cut it out, but next time I will not leave my doors open for you. I will not even let you…wait. Is that your picture? What’s with the dark make up and long locks? Why are you standing like a zombie? Ok this is not funny anymore. You must have visited. How else did this picture frame get here? You don’t look good. Clearly, you are sending me a message; and since you won’t even call me to tell me face to face I believe it’s only fair that I get the right to translate this message however I would like it.

This is how I choose to understand it. Without this blog, you are bored, clearly close to death…talk of the coldness in your looks. You want me to bring life to it, lest it gets buried in the stinking absence of life that I brought about 🙂 It feels nice to know just how much you care.

How have you all been? What are your plans for this year? I have like a million of them planned out myself…and you of course. I have not been away for nothing. I have witnessed a lot of things people do and say and trust me; far away as I was from  my laptop I was tempted to scream my lungs out on top of the highest building and just tell people to stop, stop, stop!

Like I always claim (yes I do) I am no relationship guru, but I do have eyes, small enough to see the diminutive things we constantly ignore. These small things are the same ones that ruin the big plans we have for our loved ones. Do you realise big fights start from small things like a fifty shilling note or a match box? Have you not read any news clippings of tell tales of murder that were sparked by such minute reasons; and you say human beings are crazy, or that the world is coming to an end…which it is anyway but if we can figure out a way to deal with small issues in a small way, we will end up with a small world with really big hearted and well, big headed people!

Now, I am compiling a list of topics to discuss this year.  It’s mostly relationships of course as I realise this is what many of us are battling; both men and women. Oh yes, men too complain about women if you have never heard. In fact, did you know women make men cheat, the very same way men make women cheat? It’s a cycle….a circle rather that we can break, repair and keep smooth running. Let’s get the year started. Talk to me; let me know what you think. And I will tell you what is in my heart. Not to worry, I will try and tell you to your face if you are being a scum*** and if you are being naïve and unrealistic, we’ll throw a few stones but we’ll try not to let them kill you. Lets rock it people. Lovey Dovey New Year! 🙂