Tag Archives: Love

Love the Kenyan way Pt 2

A typical African man will want to be like his father. “I am my father’s son!” he will go about thumping his chest. Probably the very same way his father would say about his grandfather. However, the Kenyan man is making an effort to pull away from this trend. If his father was abusive and violent, and gave is mother no respect, then he strives to be his exact opposite. I know of some ladies who celebrate the birth of a boy child, not because an heir has finally risen; but because when this boy grows up, his mother will enjoy full protection against an abusive man.
This post is not all about abusive men. This just gives me a perfect example of what happened in our father’s time that doesn’t happen now…well not so much. Back in the day, a young man would literary chase down a young beautiful woman while on her way to serve boiled yams to her grandmother. The chase would be intense and with the help of other young men, she would be made his wife almost instantly. As a wife, a woman’s place was the kitchen and the children. She would ensure everyone is well fed, cleaned up and that her husband gets the best share of everything available.
Since we have very few historic books to guide us in our effort to emulate our fore fathers, we tend to seek counsel from our families. Our priorities have changed. Basic needs are no longer food water or shelter; and not in that order anyway. To survive earth, you need health, wealth, fame… and the rest follow…in that order.
Now, to find love in Kenya, you must
• Be rich, or pretend to be
• Be some body’s previous…even current husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend…you just need that kind of experience
• Be a home-maker and at the same time a money-maker…showing potential will do too
• Be ready to test your reproductive system..no offence.
Now before those eggs and tomatoes come crashing on my face, this is merely my opinion no research team, hired. Here are my reasons in form of questions:-
• Why would a man have to borrow a friend’s jeep to floss and get a girl to go out with him?
• Why would my husband be a target for young lads in a joint simply because he wore the two dazzling silver rings I bought him on his birthday?
• Why would a woman want my husband barely months after we got married? And why would a man want to try and confuse me just before I say ‘I do’?
• Why would a man sleep with your house-help yet when you lose your job he would thrash you like a three year old?
• Why do we all… (hehe am a culprit here) choose to have babies before saying ‘I do’ ? Do we doubt what we are capable of, really?
love
Man, don’t we make our mothers’ cry! Much as we are being westernised, its nice that we are still retaining what our fathers taught us. These Mombasa cases should never be heard of again. Here are my 3 cents, for whatever it counts. Don’t name your children animals anymore. We have a God to believe in so Simba? really? Well at the same time… those wazungu names we use and we have no idea what they mean… lets do more research. We cannot have a blonde’s name residing in south Nyanza. Men, if your wife is beautiful, don’t step all over her so that she loses her confidence and sticks to you. She chose you to be the only one who can have her no matter how many salivate after her. Men, polygamy is illegal before the law and a sin before God…nothing to give Caesar here. You cannot date someone for two years, love her and want to marry her only to ask what your folks think on the day of the ruracio. How do you expect them to love her in a day when it took you months? And anyway, what if they don’t like her… were they there when you fell head over heels for her? Certainly not! and neither will they be there when she rocks your night and makes you go gaga over her. Did I censor this post earlier on?
Women, when you man loses his job, don’t laugh and tell everyone who cares to listen about it. Cover him up…show him you are his best friends as we know our true friends when we have nothing to offer. Hard as it may be, please him… for men, a good session of love making cures everything from flu to low self-esteem. Don’t punish him because he never bought you that god coated ring. A man may be led by his body to want another woman about you, but when he remembers what you have been to him…that’s when he can make a decision. Let’s keep being Kenyan. Let’s make Kenyan love spicy, peeps.

Lovey Dovey New Year!

It feels empty, this house. I can’t believe since I cleaned it last time, no one bothered to do it again. I am shocked; no one even paid it a visit! Is that how friends treat each other nowadays? Hmm…! How sad. I only have two messages on the telephone machine. One is from a cousin I never want to talk to since he told me my daughter has a big head. The other is the telephone service company asking me to update their services on my system; seriously?

Dust is everywhere. Spiders made my house theirs and its starting to look like the witch moved in too…yet it’s only been a month! Or has it?

Fine; I will cut it out, but next time I will not leave my doors open for you. I will not even let you…wait. Is that your picture? What’s with the dark make up and long locks? Why are you standing like a zombie? Ok this is not funny anymore. You must have visited. How else did this picture frame get here? You don’t look good. Clearly, you are sending me a message; and since you won’t even call me to tell me face to face I believe it’s only fair that I get the right to translate this message however I would like it.

This is how I choose to understand it. Without this blog, you are bored, clearly close to death…talk of the coldness in your looks. You want me to bring life to it, lest it gets buried in the stinking absence of life that I brought about 🙂 It feels nice to know just how much you care.

How have you all been? What are your plans for this year? I have like a million of them planned out myself…and you of course. I have not been away for nothing. I have witnessed a lot of things people do and say and trust me; far away as I was from  my laptop I was tempted to scream my lungs out on top of the highest building and just tell people to stop, stop, stop!

Like I always claim (yes I do) I am no relationship guru, but I do have eyes, small enough to see the diminutive things we constantly ignore. These small things are the same ones that ruin the big plans we have for our loved ones. Do you realise big fights start from small things like a fifty shilling note or a match box? Have you not read any news clippings of tell tales of murder that were sparked by such minute reasons; and you say human beings are crazy, or that the world is coming to an end…which it is anyway but if we can figure out a way to deal with small issues in a small way, we will end up with a small world with really big hearted and well, big headed people!

Now, I am compiling a list of topics to discuss this year.  It’s mostly relationships of course as I realise this is what many of us are battling; both men and women. Oh yes, men too complain about women if you have never heard. In fact, did you know women make men cheat, the very same way men make women cheat? It’s a cycle….a circle rather that we can break, repair and keep smooth running. Let’s get the year started. Talk to me; let me know what you think. And I will tell you what is in my heart. Not to worry, I will try and tell you to your face if you are being a scum*** and if you are being naïve and unrealistic, we’ll throw a few stones but we’ll try not to let them kill you. Lets rock it people. Lovey Dovey New Year! 🙂