October 19, 2011
Have you ever been written off as a traitor yet you didn’t understand why? Ever tried elucidating yourself to people who have judged you wrongly and they just won’t turn back? Have you been in a situation where things that you feel are barely worth it turn against you and you still can’t take off? Been there, done that, not doing it again…well, given the chance.
Grab your spot.
I was in form three. Yes, don’t turn away just yet, and a great melancholic I was. As usual, I had my small circle of girls. One was my best friend; I had a few other close acquaintances in the same class, a few younger ladies I apparently mentored *ahem! Adjusting my fake collar* and a few older that I followed closely too. I don’t know if they still call it the same thing nowadays, but back then we were called Rangers. This was just a grown-up word for girl guides or scouts for that matter.
I loved being a Ranger. I didn’t have to wear our unpopular green blouses on Mondays and Fridays and it sort of nicely broke the monotony for me.
So it was a sports week and as a Ranger my First-Aid services were necessary. I packed my back and was ready to go for day 1. I had never gone for any sporting event held outside our school so I felt like a pre-schooler visiting Giraffe Centre for the first time. In the massively boisterous bus I quietly and hopefully invisibly sat behind the driver and pulled out my novel. Yes. I chose to read instead of screaming my lungs away with the rest of the crew. I never did sport, no. In fact I hated competition. I was too terrified of losing and falling, I chose to play safe… And take care of those who did.
At the playing field I chose a quiet spot under a fine-looking shade and spread out my kanga. I neatly unpacked my bag and got ready for any emergencies, most of which would be painkillers, water and glucose. I then sat myself down and on my writing pad, described what I saw in front of me in as many words as I could.
I totally enjoyed my own company. I wrote and smiled down at every descriptive word that popped into mind. My only destruction would be a few players who would more often than not drop by for more glucose and a quick hello.
Games changed and I had to let go of my already favoured spot. I was now on a playing field, large and wide. I didn’t like it. It was too exposing for me. I left my things in the bus and walked around, obviously aimlessly.
Now the juicy part.
I could see boys gazing at me. I had never seen so many boys all in uniform and in gang-like groups. I wanted to run. I was never the all attention on me kind of person and I felt invaded, my privacy uncovered. Each step I took felt heavy and I didn’t want to turn back and run. They would know I was the coward I was. My heart thumped so hard in my chest, I held on to it so they wouldn’t notice. All groups of boys each turned to stare and I knew something was clearly wrong, I could almost hear the words they whispered to themselves. I was almost sure I could read their lips. ‘She’s new’
‘Do you know her?’
I knew none of them. Actually I knew no high school boy. Yes, remember I mentioned earlier that I was a severe melancholic? I was not chitchatting. All I knew at that moment was that I wanted to run and fast. Suddenly one of them stepped out in front of me and the silence banged my ears. ‘Hi!’
I froze in my tracks and waited for him to say what he wanted and leave me to my peace. He didn’t. I murmured my reply and tried to walk away. He followed me.
He introduced himself politely as asked if he could join me. “It’s a bored walk I’m taking” I said clearly on the defensive. He wasn’t moved. He still insisted in getting bored together. I didn’t like him for not respecting my wishes but for his effort, he deserved one very bored toddle.
I could see my crew members stopping momentarily as they curiously watched us saunter around the field. I didn’t let it bother me, but I should have. The girls who had a chance to get closer asked what he was telling me. They gave me an alarming look. Their eyes screamed impending doom and they bit their lips in aggravation. But it was a little late. He had become a friend. Yes, he managed to savour my cob-webbed rejection and got into my lone world. He never asked me out, at least not yet. He just made me laugh the whole time*nostalgic giggle* sorry Baba Pesh*wink*
Needless to say, I had no intention of meeting him again. I hoped he didn’t too, so when I met the girls back at the bus, I was unruffled…until they unleashed the truth.
My charming company, I found out, was my classmate’s boyfriend. The girl in question sat right behind me! And to jump right onto the fire, everyone apart from a stranger *me* who never socialised with boys and had a handful of friends knew this.
I felt horrible. This was purely unforgivable. Seeing all the disgusted looks on the crew’s faces, most of who were personal allies to my classmate, made me look at my feet in shame. I tried to look brave and swore never to see Prince charming again.
I quietly slid back into my seat and looked out the window, angry, not at myself but at Prince Charming for picking me to ruin my day. I pinched my ear and swore never to talk to him again.
I turned to check the time. Crap! I remembered Prince Charming fitting into my coveted golden*I believed* watch around his thick wrist!