September 25, 2013
If you are the kind of person who would marry someone mainly because of what they have or what they do for a living, then you should read this…twice even, because chances are that this part of life will test you…like a cheetah would pounce on an antelope’s ass if it misses the neck; it will catch up with you and your commitment to one another will surely be tested. Trust me, it happened to my mother, nineteen years after she and my father got married, luckily we cannot quite prove if she could have walked out if it had happened sooner…gladly, we shall never tell.
Life always seems easy when everything is smooth and easy. It all seems like all you need is to plan and live; but it’s never really been that smooth. If you and your spouse work for the government, then the security of your employment in the city is definitely on the high and your main financial concerns would be when you are getting paid and how to earn more; worst case scenario would be termination of employments which hardly anyone prepares for. In the private sector where most of us fall under it is different. One has no idea how long your job will last or how soon you could find one.
So what happens when your spouse says he wants to quit work? my husband came home one day and said he had had enough. He worked for a middle class company that underpaid and overworked…well, don’t we all love to use that statement! It was hard to understand him. I mean, as the head of the house, how would he expect us to live just because he didn’t feel like working anymore? I didn’t take it well and instead told him he had no choice but to push on. “You know we need the money,” was my stern warning and each day I told him that, he grew pale and dull, losing his motivation for life and hardly enjoying anything. He soon was mostly staying in the house and would tell me to visit friends alone or with Pesh. When I insisted that he comes along, he would but was the most boring company I ever had. Sadly, I didn’t realize what had instigated the change and resolved to believe I just had a super quiet hubby stuck with me till the end of time.
He came home one day his facing hanging barely above his shoes. “I hate my job; I hate my life and I hate the career path I chose. Mine is the worst industry I ever chose” were the words that came out of his mouth. Mine dropped in awe too. I asked what had happened and he gave me the same reasons he had before. This time however, he seemed overwhelmed and broken. It was as though he was condemned to live a damned life simply because he was married and had a family. Crap! it seemed like he was being punished for having a family! I was overwhelmed with sadness and even as he looked on in despair, I could not help but wish to take it all away. “Quit.” I told him. “Come home to me. Stay home, rest and let’s forget that sad excuse of a job.” He seemed more afraid than impressed. “What about…” “Forget the money. We are just letting one leg go,” I calmed him down. “It doesn’t mean, that if we limp we will not move; we will just be slow but moving either way,” he smiled, for the first time in a long while and seeing the hope in his eyes once more was enough to believe we would survive.
Sometimes, you just need to decide to always put your spouse first. Its always more about what money does or doesn’t do and not just its presence.For me, I chose to have my husband with me and happy rather than working and miserable. It was not a tough decision to make as we are joined at the hip. Just because we limp doesn’t make us stagnant.