May 18, 2012
I wanted a 2”x6” size bed. The carpenter said he could make one for me, but that I would have to make my own mattress to go with it. So I thought of buying several sacks, tearing them apart, stuffing in some old clothes…and probably some from my discourteous neighbour’s line. And voila! I’ll have a mattress! Ok. Today’s topic has nothing to do with mattresses, not that I have anything against them. You see, a mattress is one of the values items that even super-markets keep close to their hearts… hehe! I’m messing with you. Supermarkets keep these cushy items away because they are easy fuel to accidental fires! 🙂 Back to important things.
My little one is officially out of our bedroom. It wasn’t difficult to kick her out. She actually loves the colours and the prints in her new room! However, someone else had trouble getting over this grandeur separation. That person was me.
I kept peeking into her room to test its warmth; checked that the windows were tightly closed, and that the water paint was not smelly. I did her bed by myself and made sure to put in two sheets, two blankets and a soft pillow. I then went on to feel her temperature every two hours at night…..Call me what you want, but I am just a young, hot 🙂 mother reacting abnormally to a normal situation. Once in my bed, I tossed and turned and had nightmares and heard baby voices and saw the demon in a bear and anything else you can come up with.
It was cold.
I felt cold chills with every passing second. They ran from my back to my tummy and straight for my feet which I folded closer. I grabbed the blanket closer and tried to shut my eyes really tight. I even whispered a prayer to beg for some peace. I got a little and rested before it was time to check up on her again. I slept facing the wall. That was where she always slept each night. I’d spoon her in my lap to give her warmth each night and in return I felt protective. It was as if I had been pregnant from the outside.
Pesh slept well in her new bed. She never even once woke up to ask for her bottle. While I struggled to get used to my new life, she was busy enjoying a peaceful night. On the second night, the same thing happened. At some point I sat up and put the lights on. Why was this cold chill still there? I even thought my bedroom was haunted…think ‘Haunted’ from Investigative Discovery. I’m a fan by the way.
My husband slept facing the other way. He seemed comfortable on his own and I immediately felt guilty that for two years, that is how he had been spending his nights. It felt horrible to know he never had anyone to cuddle him, or share some warmth. I looked at the space at the bedside and fitted a mental baby-bed in it. ‘That is where our next baby will always sleep’ I thought to myself.
Another cold breeze crept in and I suddenly sneezed. The curtains were shaken. That couldn’t have been caused by just a sneeze. I reasoned. I moved closer to the window and slowly opened one side of the curtain. There it was; my reason for sneezing. I stretched my hand quietly, careful not to awake our estate night-runner, and shut the slightly open window.
The cold was gone.
I switched the lights back off and crouched next to my husband. Instinctively, he moved closer, held me tight, just like I did Pesh and helped me sleep. I promised to create that spot for myself; to always make him warm and never to bring another child into our bed.
Oh that night runner story is very true by the way. He made me change my curtains from a beautiful, red and black to an ugly, brown, heavy one. I caught him peeping through my window once while changing into my night clothes. The scream I let out was enough to scare off an armed robber, any day.
That morning I woke up with and ugly flu.
Pesh seems even happier now that she sleeps better at night. She doesn’t get destructed by us preparing to leave for work each morning. She hugs us tighter than she did when we come back each evening and tells a lot of stories in her language. She seems to have forgotten mommy’s comforting embrace and has adjusted well, unlike someone I know.
Now, the bed.
The reason I wanted a smaller bed is simple. With Pesh’s exit, it seemed too large for us to even find each other! One of its sides would get cold and we all temporarily squeeze into a little corner and hang in there till morning comes. If we had a smaller bed, we’d have no choice but to hold tightly to avoid falling over. This way the room would never be cold.
But since we found out what made the room cold. Thank God it was no one from ‘Haunted’; we can now enjoy our big bed even with its lack of a third party.