April 25, 2013
Moody as the clouds
Some days can be quite refreshing and pleasant; others just choose to be void and just….there. This is one of those days when everything is just plain and obtainable. That’s actually what I feel like right now. It’s empty with no problems to solve and no exciting news to cheer me up. Everything including the bright lime colours of my kitchen and our food time-table is suddenly boring. Not even Pesh’s funny faces or break dances can make me laugh today, leave alone Justin’s attempt to tickle me. In fact, the latter makes me very irritable. I am a walking time bomb. This is just one of those days when my boss knows best not to expect any tea till the office assistant is back from errands. I have neither sweet cakes nor cookies hidden in my bag and I dint feel like having the snacks they brought either. I pull my face and wear a frown, allowing the numbing feelings get the best of me.
I suppose it could be because of the boring weather; it rains and it gets all muddy; and we have to wear these heavy sweaters, scarves and sometimes those abhorred mismatched socks at home…We all look the same with jackets, hoods and trench coats so if you are a lover of bright coloured sun dresses and fitting t-shirts like I do, you start feeling as though grandma just played dress-up on you! Now that I mention that, I pity Pesh. I put the whole closet on her and only spared her from a monkey cap when Justin promised to burn it up. I think she got a heat rash.
I am afraid of the cold. I don’t know of any plants that survive well in cold wind so I can have something to thank Jesus for. All I know is it awakens the sicknesses that have been quietly asleep in us; from tooth aches, to malaria, pneumonia to tooth- cracks. The old aged lose their battles to diseases in the cold season and children flood into wards as they get admitted to hospital for all sorts of air and water borne diseases. Each day I live troubled by the mere thought of a phone call from Vivian telling me how high Pesh’s temperature is.
It makes it worse to bear when I get calls that my nephew got admitted when he got a convulsion from high fevers… how does anyone sleep at night when even turning a head leaves with you with scratch marks of trepidation? It’s as though the grim reaper visits to mock me with evil thoughts. He pretends to hook the people I care about with his scythe and after a few heart wrenching sways accompanied by a thunderous and controlling laughter, he drops them and leaves silently, head hung low and without a single look back; as though he suddenly got scolded by his boss to stop playing with humans like they are toys.
A tinge of hope
Seemingly, God understands what I go through as he never fails to give me hope. Occasionally during the day, he lets the sun peep out and send its warm, soothing rays through my window. Its gentle cascade seems to whisper sweet words to my ears, sending happy hormones rushing through my veins. I can finally afford a smile. He clearly understands that at this point, the rainbow could be on the other side of the hill, furnishing the people on the slopes with memories of His love. At this point my spirit ceases from being low and I get lifted high to enjoy the little warm air that escapes from the steam in my kitchen. I realise once again that this life is just being true to me, proving its natural self to me. No one is perfect, not even the best or the richest. It is actually up to us to make the most of the time we have. Since I realise we will always have two rainy and cold seasons each year. Life need not stop till the sun shines. I will prepare to enjoy it and live up above it. I will get exciting things that my family and I will only during the cold seasons and others for the sunny one. This had better work. I will put in all I can to ensure it does. If not, and I continue getting these low energy episodes…then I better get checked! A little someone could be setting camp in me!