I was walking my elder sister to school…Yes, she is older, in campus…And she is taken. We talked about school and projects, and promised to keep her notes for me (I plan to be a guru in business in time). We had gone window shopping, i was headed home and her to school.
‘You could type on mine.’ I offered when she mentioned the work she was required to do and her spoilt laptop. ‘But I haven’t got a bag for it’.
‘How big is your handbag?’
I stopped in my tracks.
There is a lot of warfare against handbags.
Handbags have survived from way before electricity was invented. The only thing that changes is the magnitude and intent which ranges from how old you wish to look like to how much your wee bicep can carry. From how you want to carry it to what you want to carry in them. From what colour you wear to where you intend to wake up in the morning from. It has a variety of selections that I personally have yet to get used to.
Our brothers are yet to create self help groups against handbags. Magazines and blogs have posted warnings and ‘did you knows’ about the handbag. It has been investigated, even interrogated and stands guilty of many crimes. Whenever a woman’s handbag falls, every male eye around will stray to gawk at its contents. Hungry to satisfy their curiosity, they now defend their lack of gen with pioneering imagination. They placate themselves with visual imagination of us carrying the world (literary) with us. I know we ladies are notorious for carrying a home in the handbag. It however never occurred to me that I could actually transport gadgets as big as a 21” Plasma TV in my bag. I am serious. My sister did not even once look surprised wt the thought. In fact she was shocked at the way it caught me off-guard.
So I broke down some must haves and usual requirements and picked a bag that suited it.
There’s a bag for Mondays
Monday’s bag is simple and stylish. You got to start your Mondays in style lest your week ends in some dungeon of disaster. You can carry a small bag on these days and no one will give you those weird glances. Those glances that make you stop and recheck yourself for any fashion crimes. The contents are not necessarily much, side from your regular make-up, consisting of some powder, blush, lipstick, eye pencil/liner (you never know the time of his coming when the clumsy colleague will rub off your only proof of eyebrows).
This bag is similar to Mondays. It should be convenient for impromptu meetings, especially those that come up when the boss needs to be in two places at a go. This is one advantage to being predictable as the boss will always know who to count on when need arises.
The bag gets bigger from mid week. Here as you prepare to show up for the karaoke at your favourite joint, you will need to carry some perfume roll on, a full make-up set, a cardigan, 4-inch pair of heels, a funky top and lot’s of lip gloss.
This is the day we pretend to be serious. At the corner of your mind, you know only too well that the weekend is around the corner and you just can’t wait. So make sure to carry a bag, large enough to carry a sexy dress for a ‘might-come’ dinner, four inch pair of heels, different from Thursdays, a shawl, no cardigan, and the rest will be just like Wednesdays.
If you don’t carry the largest bag on this day, then you certainly will the following day. If you don’t carry it on Saturday then it’s clearly not end month. That’s if you are what I think you are -a party girl. This bag is big enough to house a laptop for the weekend assignment, an iron box…ok I’m kidding. It most probably will carry two pairs of shoes, a make up kit, the laptop, two sets of clothes, 2 pairs of heals, one four inch, one six inch, the make up kit, a cardigan, a shawl, an empty paper bag, a roll of tissue, wet wipes, roll-on, perfume..Till you struggle with the zipper.
If you carried the bag above, then I assume you will be going back home on Sunday night. If you didn’t, then you will either carry it today. If you do not carry it today and you must leave the house, then the most probable bag you’ll carry is a small pouch or a clutch bag. No one wants to get tired on this day; your bags also need a rest and possibly a wash too, well and your date too!
This bag can be big if you multi purpose it to carry more than one person’s stuff. I do when I carry Pesh’s diapers, bottle of milk, warm water, snack, and extra pair of clothes to change.
All these squeeze in with my stuff complete with the Bible, notepad and a pen. Yes the bag is big enough.
There are effects I can never do without, whether I’m visiting grandma’ or attending a high-level meeting.
Eye-pencil- with the right colour in check
Lip balm or gloss- no smile without
Compact powder- no shiny noses to worry about
Shawl- for the rickety weather or a fellow citizen I might meet in need
Razor blaze- still figuring out but I never leave it behind
Sanitary towels- c’mon do I have to explain this too?
A pen –It might come handy
Coins-for chewing gum
Notice the first is my most valuable!
Mine isn’t extreme but for all you blokes who always want to have a peek. Don’t get caught, now you know why we are overprotective of our handbags. They cart our world for us and we just never feel alone!